{"id":1297,"date":"2015-06-03T14:55:28","date_gmt":"2015-06-03T18:55:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.nejm.org\/general-medicine\/?p=1297"},"modified":"2015-06-04T11:02:20","modified_gmt":"2015-06-04T15:02:20","slug":"work-life-balance-for-the-uninitiated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.nejm.org\/general-medicine\/index.php\/2015\/06\/work-life-balance-for-the-uninitiated\/","title":{"rendered":"Work-Life Balance for the Uninitiated"},"content":{"rendered":"

Jenna Kay, MD, is a Chief Resident at Emory University Hospital. She will be starting her cardiology fellowship in July, 2015.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

My daughter was born, 3 months premature, during my third year of residency. \"footprints-303798_1280\"<\/a>Following a harrowing 3 months in the NICU, we joyfully welcomed her home. After 8 blissful but isolating weeks, I was eager to return to the wards. I happily reunited with colleagues and patients, but I also deeply missed being home. During quieter moments, I daydreamed about stroking my daughter\u2019s tiny fingers and toes, bathing her in the kitchen sink, watching her breathe as she slept on my chest. I wanted to be everywhere at once.<\/p>\n

I loved my growing family and was deeply invested in my training, but at the same time, many days felt unbearably hard. I was exhausted. Essentially, I was permanently on call, both at work and at home. There were no days off, no lighter months, no vacation. The support I received from my residency program was incredible, and my husband was an outstanding stay-at-home parent, but I still struggled with the adjustment. Spare time and independence were concepts of the past. A type A perfectionist, I reluctantly delegated tasks like laundry and grocery shopping to my husband, then felt disappointed if he didn’t do things exactly how I wanted. An avid runner, I discovered that I had to get up at 4 AM to feed my daughter, exercise, and get to the hospital by 7 AM. We ate a lot of pasta and canned soup. I finally understood why my older sister with two young children only called me when she was in the car. Multitasking was essential.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t be everywhere at once, and I felt guilty leaving my daughter at home. The feeling was partially allayed by my staunch commitment to provide her with breast milk, which was especially important for a preemie. Every 4 hours, I had to excuse myself, find a private room, set up the apparatus, store everything in a specialized ice pack, and clean everything meticulously. Twice during pumping sessions, I had to abruptly detach to run to codes in the MICU. The lactation room was filthy, and I was terrified that I would give my daughter C. difficile<\/em>. When I felt like giving up, five faculty members offered me their offices to pump. Not a single attending ever rolled their eyes when I asked permission to step out to pump. On the contrary, I felt celebrated and brave. And I kept going. Every time I hit a new low, the pendulum swung, and I soared higher than seemed possible. When my daughter was born, we weren\u2019t certain she would live, and now she was thriving. We felt indescribably blessed.<\/p>\n

When I began my year as chief resident, my head was slightly clearer. I was determined to pay it forward. Apart from pointing out lactation rooms (and offering my office) and optimizing schedules, I focused on checking in with new parents. How was life with baby, and how could I support them? We shared stories, advice, photos. Life is a constant juggling act, but somehow it gets easier. It helped to know that we were figuring it out together.<\/p>\n

I never questioned my ability to handle both motherhood and medicine. No one told me it was impossible, and I wouldn\u2019t have listened if they did. But a seamless \u201cwork-life balance\u201d was<\/em> impossible. Being in one place always meant I was missing out on the other. Balance is an ever-changing ideal that I set my sights on, but know that I will never permanently reach. It helps me reflect on what I want in the moment and figure out where to spend my energy. I can\u2019t be everywhere, but I can make the most of every situation. My best is more than enough. Repeat.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jenna Kay, MD, is a Chief Resident at Emory University Hospital. She will be starting her cardiology fellowship in July, 2015. My daughter was born, 3 months premature, during my third year of residency. Following a harrowing 3 months in the NICU, we joyfully welcomed her home. After 8 blissful but isolating weeks, I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":73,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1297","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-about-residency"],"yoast_head":"\nWork-Life Balance for the Uninitiated - Insights on Residency Training<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.nejm.org\/general-medicine\/index.php\/2015\/06\/work-life-balance-for-the-uninitiated\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Work-Life Balance for the Uninitiated\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jenna Kay, MD, is a Chief Resident at Emory University Hospital. 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