{"id":9493,"date":"2019-12-30T13:18:42","date_gmt":"2019-12-30T18:18:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.nejm.org\/hiv-id-observations\/?p=9493"},"modified":"2019-12-31T14:18:39","modified_gmt":"2019-12-31T19:18:39","slug":"welcome-to-mandatory-online-module-land","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.nejm.org\/hiv-id-observations\/index.php\/welcome-to-mandatory-online-module-land\/2019\/12\/30\/","title":{"rendered":"Welcome to Mandatory Online Module Land!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>(What follows is an attempt to derive some humor from those annual online “required learnings” assigned to us each year. Because if you’re in pain, you are not alone!)<\/em><\/p>\n

Step right up, Ladies and Gentlemen! Allow me to welcome you to Mandatory Online Module Land — the fantasy theme park Health Professionals around the world can’t stop talking about!<\/p>\n

Fire Safety, Natural Disasters, Chemical Spills, Infection Control, Patient Confidentiality, Tornadoes<\/a> — important topics all! We’ve figured out how to make them into an online, interactive experience that pulses with excitement.<\/p>\n

Here, let us share some of the passionate and enthusiastic feedback we’ve received from health professionals at institutions around the country<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Thinking early retirement versus career change right now.<\/em><\/p>\n

At the end of 16\u201318hr days, it is really harrowing to get emails telling me that I was \u201cdelinquent\u201d on a training module.<\/em><\/p>\n

34 modules! Took 2.5 hours; 5\u201310 multiple choices question quizzes per module to \u201cpass.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Living this misery right now.<\/em><\/p>\n

So painful those mandatory trainings.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’m around 3hrs in and still have those 3 annoying “can’t win” modules left …<\/em><\/p>\n

Ah … the mandatory trainings. The straw that breaks the camel’s back.<\/em><\/p>\n

I did this for about 3.5 hrs before the whole family came for Christmas\u2014 I have several modules left.<\/em><\/p>\n

I won’t do it unless I get a text from coordinator telling me they might pull me off service.<\/em><\/p>\n

I would say it takes me 10\u201315 hrs a year all said and done. And if I am generous, they include about 5\u201310 minutes of useful information.<\/em><\/p>\n

Most of them are boring and cover useless information.<\/em><\/p>\n

Took me FOUR hours and it was worthless: \u201cdon\u2019t worry you\u2019ll learn as you go.\u201d Bad for physicians: horrible for patients.<\/em><\/p>\n

Doesn’t that sound wonderful? Of course it does, and we should know — we created<\/em> the modules, and are therefore the experts.<\/p>\n

We have highly validated studies demonstrating that health care professionals who finish these trainings are better<\/em> than those who don’t.<\/p>\n

Better at what? They’re better at finishing the trainings! Isn’t that enough?<\/p>\n

To make a good thing even greater, we’ve added three innovative features to make visiting Mandatory Online Module Land even more fun (as if that were possible).<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. We’ve tied completion of the required modules to your earnings.<\/em><\/strong> No, we don’t pay you for the time it takes to visit Mandatory Online Module Land and complete the modules. But we do<\/em> withhold salary for not finishing on time — which, if you think about it, is the same as paying you! Isn’t that generous? Hey, we could have charged you for the privilege of all this learning!<\/li>\n
  2. We’ve given you an few extra days to complete them.<\/em><\/strong> You spoke, and we listened. Though visiting Mandatory Online Module Land is fun fun FUN, and the perfect way to spend the holidays, some of you have alternate plans. Some advice:\u00a0 next year, plan ahead and include a visit to Mandatory Online Module Land during that last week of the year! How about that for a New Year’s resolution?<\/li>\n
  3. Certificates!<\/strong><\/em> Yes, each completed Mandatory Online Module comes with a Validated Certificate of Completion, suitable for framing, laminating, or some other enshrinement. Display them in your office or exam room! Or print them out and mail to your parents, giving them even more reason to be proud of their highly accomplished offspring!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    And for those of you too forgetful to add a trip to Mandatory Online Module Land to your travel itinerary before the due date, we’ve got the reminders down to a science.<\/p>\n

    Let’s pretend your visits to Mandatory Online Module Land have not yet been completed. We can’t imagine why anyone might delay — what other important things does a Health Professional have to do?<\/p>\n

    Maybe it’s catching up on your Netflix queue? Editing your videos on TikTok? Some other “worthwhile” (ha ha) pursuit? Hey Doc or Nurse or PA or other Health Professional, lemme tell you — time’s a wastin’! Get back to those modules!<\/p>\n

    Well no worries — we’ve got you covered! As the due date draws near, through the miracle of computer automation, each day you’ll awake to a personalized, friendly email message from me (whoever I am) — sometimes you’ll get two messages, we care that<\/em> much!<\/p>\n

    “Good morning, Health Professional,” these messages will read. “You are delinquent.”<\/p>\n

    If that’s not supportive, what is?<\/p>\n

    \n

    Apologies for bragging, but I'm the proud owner of a new degree.
    Cc'ing     @NobelPrize<\/a> , just in case this was the one missing piece. pic.twitter.com\/q5Y83YKCu6<\/a><\/p>\n

    — Paul Sax (@PaulSaxMD) January 9, 2019<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n